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I've been lurking over at zenhabits.net and the more I read, the more I realise that I've been living my life in a state of stress and pressure, which is not a healthy lifestyle, nor is it a fun one. Every day I try to squeeze in as many tasks as I can and get incredibly wound up if I fall behind schedule. And, every day I do fall behind schedule because I'm always wanting to do too much. So, I'm trying to be more 'zen', starting with decompressing my stupid schedule. I'm going to allow some more space in my day, I'll probaby get just as much done, but without the 'grrrraaaaagh!'. My goal is to lighten up, literally and figuratively. I'm aiming to develop a more carefree, playful attitude toward life and especially myself, much as I used to have when I was younger, before the whole body image issues kicked in and sucked the vitality out of my soul.

Today I inserted a few more carbs into my day and also ate four larger meals instead of six mini-meals. This worked because I was eating less often and felt more full after eating. Win-win. It went like this:

10am - Spinach omlette
1pm - Homemade PB, boiled egg
3pm wii-fit
4pm - Essene bread with nut butter
7.30 - grilled lamb chop with a red wine reduction (interesting exercise.. I think my technique needs refinement because it became more like red wine jam, but still tasted ok), mashed kumara, brocccoli, salad, essene bread, glass of wine.

Cals: about 1800 which is what I'm aiming for.

It's now nearly 11pm and I'm feeling just mildly like I could eat, but I think I'll live. I rad today that essene bread (ingredients: sprouted rye or sprouted wheat, nothing else) contains no gluten because it is destroyed by the sprouting process. I didn't know that. I knew that the starches break down to sugars but this is new information. That's true even for the sprouted wheat one. I'm going to look into it, pester the essene bread people relentlessly until they tag me on their caller i.d. and stop answering. I already made them roll their eyes (I believe) by asking about the nutritional info.

Drinks: heaps of Mate Tea, Green Tea and Sabtu tea. I know that Mate has some caffeine in it, but I'm telling ya, it's NOT like coffee (unfortunately).

Oh.. Saturday night I'm going to a fancy dress party. A 'winter' party and, I'm wearing WHITE LEGGINGS with silver 'stripper' boots under a weensy white dress. If that doesn't make me laugh at myself, well, I'm probably dead. I shall post a pic. It can be a progress pic.