Goal 57, Day 8

58 kg

I've had a little setback. On Saturday night, it seemed like a great idea to have a few vino's before heading out to the movies... Predictably, I then felt quite free to indulge myself in an enormous dinner + dessert. It was not a binge, but I did gain 600g overnight and am just de-bloating now. I'm not too worried. If I eat certain things, particularly wheat or a really high-sodium meal, I do tend to gain a lot of weight which generally takes three or four days to diminish again. Tomorrow should look better, although I may need to adjust my goal. Maybe. Tomorrow I'll decide on that.

As my weight comes down I'm finding it easier to deal with the inevitable weight fluctuations. I've been doing a lot of reading lately on Binge Eating Disorder (abbreviated to BED) for a university assignment and was surprised to find that the research tends to suggest that weightloss seems to reduce the incidence of binge eating episodes. The reason this was surprising is that everything I'd read to this point suggested that you should forget about losing weight while recovering from BED. From my point of view, losing weight has had a positive effect because when I DO overindulge and gain a little weight, it's just not so distressing. Which, in turn, reduces the anxiety which makes me want to binge. So, if I munch a huge slice of ciabatta and bloat up to 58.2kg, well that's still a hell of a lot less than a year ago when a 'fat day' was 64kg or more. I can handle it with more decorum. It doesn't throw me into a panic. It feels manageable. I think also, the aspect of having more 'wiggle room' in what the scales might say does reduce the urge to splurge. For example, I can indulge myself a little, knowing that I'll still be within my 'mentally acceptable' weight range the next day, even if I gain a bit. Contrast this from the days when I would deny, deny and deny myself anything which might make me gain even a little weight. The ensuing mental struggle of 'I want it but I CAN'T have it' would most likely stress me out so much that I'd eat it anyway, then feel like a failure and probably binge.

The mind is a very funny thing...

So, today and yesterday, eating was on-plan. I'm still doing 1 espresso every second morning and alcohol consumption has been more or less.. ok. ;-/

Yesterday I did 20 mins cardio, today I got on the Wii-fit and tomorrow is yoga class. All good.