57.6kg
Last night I did behave myself, mostly. One glass of wine (good), but after dinner I did raid the crackers and cheese (not great, but not tragic). This morning, weight is down another 100g and the goal is in sight.
Unfortunately I woke up feeling very grumpy and still-tired. I'm not sure what that's about, just 'one of those things' that goes along with being me. It could also be that the vino messed with my brain chemicals after having practically none for two weeks. Today I was out shopping, it was past lunchtime and, for whatever reason - maybe because of the grumps - I decided that lunch was going to be a handful (8) chocolate covered strawberries. I thought about it. I really, seriously felt like eating some. I was exactly in the mood for the sweet, tangy, full of additives chocolate strawberries from the bulk bin section. I scoffed them in the car on the way home, then had a pear and a spoon of nut butter to.. erm.. balance it all out.
Apart from a very minor moment of anxiety about the additives and the calories, I have not really fretted over this deviation from the norm. I think the anxiety I feel when I 'go off track' is because, in the past, this would always herald the coming of a binge. Now I can (almost) accept it as just a slightly unusual meal. I'm getting there, slowly. Then I had my almond butter fail and my mid afternoon snack was three nut and dried fruit balls. Again, the minor freakout, then mentally slapping myself on the cheeks and telling myself to get over it, already.
Dinner will be a full o'veg soup (with a bacon hock in there) and then we are going out to see Eclipse - the movie, not the actual Eclipse. No exercise today. Having a lazy one.
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