57 -13

Last night, being Friday, I let myself off the leash a little. I had a couple of wines, a bit of chocolate and some naan bread with cheese melted in it, but otherwise it was a normal day. I was too scared to get on the scales this morning, and I did notice the slight, very slight feeling of 'can't be bothered-ness' and burbling anxiety that is always there the morning after alcohol. I'm beginning to think that I'll just go alcohol-free. I don't miss it, really. It's certainly a long way from a couple of months ago when the most exciting part of the day was 'wine o'clock'. I'm not going to say 'never' though. I'd like to be one of those people that has one 'now and then' and doesn't think anything of it. Same with coffee.

Today I got up.. nope, that's not quite right. I woke up, played on my computer for a bit, in bed, then got up and did a wii-fit workout, with weights added. As I said, I did not weigh myself, and I'm not going to for the next 13 days because that's what I did last week and it was better. I focused instead on the process - getting my head straight, managing my time, eating well, exercising, drinking that water, relaxing. I've got a lot to do over the next few weeks and the last thing I need is being distracted by the inevitable ups and downs of the scale. I'm motivated enough to reach my goal by the firm fit of the dress I bought today.

At lunchtime we headed out to shop with my mum. My goal was to get a dress, and quickly, no pissing around. I tried on at least 10, they all fit in size 10, some better than others. The size 12's were all too big, even though the shop assistant told me I looked fabulous in everything *rolls eyes*. Finally I found one that didn't make me look top heavy. The 12 was definitely too roomy, and the 10 looks 'quite good' but feels much closer fitting than I'm used to. Dressing room lights are never kind, and I did have some negative body thoughts, mainly about my arms, which are not at their most toned.. yet. I just kept up the positive self talk. It's only a matter of time, Sara. Most things take longer than you think they will.

I'd made a point to eat lunch before we went, but after dress shopping, and shoe shopping, was feeling ravenous! To my surprise, when I checked the time it was nearly 4pm. We ended up at Starbucks and I tried something called a Protein Cookie. Blecch, one bite was enough. I should have checked the ingredients. As the Programmer said when I made him taste it, 'it's like they tried to make it taste of food'. I ate a small amount of my mothers berry pastry (trying to choose the most 'berried' bits!) and then had an apple when we got home. Dinner tonight was a lean beef loaf and veges, probably too much roast parsnips and kumara, but I'm trying not to dwell on that.

At the moment, structure is working for me. Four meals, no nibbling. I'll need this guideline for when I'm travelling, and there's a lot of that coming up. As long as I can keep my head on, I'll be fine. ;)